littlelambsx6's Xanga

That's SOOOOO Punny

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:46:09 GMT

Puns upon a time.

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse "But why,"they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did

Deleted Post

Tue, 27 May 2008 09:45:24 GMT

What Color Are You?

Mon, 12 May 2008 22:09:21 GMT

YELLOW

You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

A Kick In The Rear

Mon, 12 May 2008 14:40:29 GMT

SO I have this wonderful friend who is so awesome at listening to me and dispensing her wisdom to help me bring things back into perspective. She assured me that yes, I do over-analyze everything WAY too much. I need to stop worrying about everything and be patient. I love her I thought of deleting the previous post but I think I'll leave it up and put what I'm grateful for in this one.

1. A man who works very very hard(like 16 hour days, 7 days a week right now during planting season) and doesn't complain about it even though he is not only working all those hours but also a single dad to 3 teenage daughters

2. Good friends who are honest yet loving....and who can actually put up with me!!!

3. This beautiful spring day with lots of sunshine.

4. My 17yo dd who texts me from school. Ok, I know she shouldn't be doing that but it sure does feel nice that she considers me her friend and just wants to chat with me!

5. My mechanic who is always honest, fair and I "think" he cuts me a break in cost a lot of the time.

6. A job that allows me to pretty much be a stay-at-home mom

7. Amazon...need I say more? lol

8. Google....I have found some pretty obscure stuff that I thought I never would. It's amazing!

9. butterfly kisses

10. A washing machine and dryer so I don't have to go to the laundromat.

What are you thankful for???

Never Alone

Mon, 12 May 2008 11:03:19 GMT

BARLOW GIRL LYRICS

"Never Alone"

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

Ladies, I'm really struggling here. Struggling with a relationship. I have the very bad habit of over-analyzing every stupid little thing, thinking I see problems where there are none and thereby creating problems that weren't there. This has been a difficult relationship. One that I have "laid down" many times. I truly truly believe that I have not picked it back up because "I" wanted to. I have not sought it back out again. God brought it back through circumstances only He could've managed. But then on days like today I think God is mocking me. I beg Him for answers and I get silence and I'm filled with more fear. I don't want to do the wrong thing so I do nothing. And wait. And worry. I feel like I try so very very hard and I'm never good enough and continually fall flat on my face. Could y'all pray for me? Pray that I'll stop this pity party. Pray that I'll stop thinking the world revolves around me. Pray that God will show me where I need to change

Xanga Problems???

Thu, 08 May 2008 11:25:14 GMT

I've always gotten a daily email that has the posts from anyone who has blogged the day before. I haven't received one for a week now. People have blogged but I'm not getting the email. I'm also not getting an email when I have new messages. I checked my settings and they are still set that I would receive the emails. Is anyone else experiencing this problem???? I LOVE reading my subscriptions but I simply do not have time to go to each one every day. If anyone has any help to offer I'd really appreciate it

Update on my Daughter

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 14:01:58 GMT

Thank you all so much for your prayers!!! We were both feeling very calm by the time we got there. The surgery went fine. Everything looked normal. He said there was "maybe" a tiny spot of endometriosis. She goes back in a week. She is quite sore and a bit loopy from the pain medication. It makes her ummmm quite emotional. Gotta run. Just wanted to give everyone a quick update and thanks!

Please Pray for my Daughter Today

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 10:25:40 GMT

She has to have a scope and d&c done to check for endometriosis. The doctor said she is young to be checking for this but he cannot find another source for her almost constant pain. He's done several internal ultrasounds and has found nothing. Plus she has periods every 2 to 3 weeks. Yesterday she said "you'll be right there when I wake up won't you?" Of course I will!! Ahhh my little girl still needs her mommy!!

Please also say a prayer for me. I am NOT a worrier. When I've had to take children to the emergency room for various accidents, I don't get upset. However, I've been very worried about this procedure since yesterday. I even cried this morning, worrying about it. That is so not me!! I'm figuring it's silly PMS and I'm being emotional. But I don't want my daughter to think I'm worried or afraid. So could y'all please prayer that I will have a spirit of peace and encouragement for her???

The procedure is scheduled for 3pm EST. We probably won't get home until after 8 so I probably won't check back in until tomorrow.

Thanks!

What Kind of Punctuation Mark Are You?

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 20:50:46 GMT

You Are a Colon

You are very orderly and fact driven.
You aren't concerned much with theories or dreams... only what's true or untrue.

You are brilliant and incredibly learned. Anything you know is well researched.
You like to make lists and sort through things step by step. You aren't subject to whim or emotions.

Your friends see you as a constant source of knowledge and advice.
(But they are a little sick of you being right all of the time!)

You excel in: Leadership positions

You get along best with: The Semi-Colon

I Figured It Out!!!

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:53:00 GMT

ok well my darling daughter did lol. Here is how you put a button on your blog

Copy the code for the button

Click on the photos tab(next to text)

Select the "link" option

Paste in the code

Submit

Voila